How To Put Yourself Out There

AJ Vaden
3 min readDec 15, 2020


Do you have a fear of putting yourself out there? And if so, I want you to ask yourself why, right now. What exactly is it that you’re afraid of?

Are you afraid that other people won’t like your content? Are you afraid that you don’t look good on camera? That the lighting’s not good enough? Are you afraid that if you do put yourself out there, it won’t be well received?

I would just pause and make a list of why you’re afraid to put yourself out there. Why are you afraid of sharing your content? Because here’s what I know: until you discover what the root fear is, you’re never going to do it.

Even though you feel this calling inside of you and you have this amazing message to share, and you have an audience who really needs to hear from you, you won’t do it. Why? Because there’s this nagging fear inside of you that prevents you from living into your best self — which is actually helping people around you.

It’s finding your niche audience; it’s sharing your story. It’s getting your message out into the world because of this one fear that’s holding you back.

So what is that fear? Here’s what I would guess it is. It is probably because you’re afraid of what other people will think — you’re afriad that they won’t like it. They won’t think it’s good enough. They’ll hate on you for the way you’re doing it.

If you’ve stopping doing anything because of what someone else may think, that’s the biggest problem of all. We’re too focused on what others say and think, and we’re less focused on providing value and service.

In fact, my husband is the king of cheesy sayings, and his favorite saying is that it’s hard to be nervous when your heart’s on service. That is to say, if my heart is rooted in the right place, I know that there is someone out there who needs to hear from me to hear it in the unique way that I have to say it. They’re just waiting on my message, my story.

But if you’re conflicted with thoughts like, “What about all those other people who won’t like it?”, that is what you have to stop.

Yes, there’s going to be people who don’t like what you have to say. That’s just fact. There’s going to be people who really are negative about what you have to say. Maybe they disagree with it, maybe it is the opposite of what they need, maybe they just flat don’t like it. Whatever the case, you’re not for them.

You’re built specifically and uniquely to serve a particular audience with your unique message and your unique story. Not everyone is going to be uniquely tied to you, and that’s okay. That’s what you have to let go of.

I just know that for most of you, if you have a fear of putting yourself out there, it’s because you have a fear of what other people will think, and that’s the real issue here. We have to address the question of: who cares what anyone else thinks?

If your heart is on service, then it’s hard to be nervous. It’s cheesy, but it rings true on so many different levels. So, if you’re not putting yourself out there, if you’re not sharing your message, that means you’re also not helping someone. You’re also not being a catalyst for change in someone’s life.

You’re also not inspiring someone, not motivating them. The downside to that is so much greater than worrying about what anyone else thinks. That’s not the point. The point here is that your message is built for a person. And even if it’s one single person and that’s it, it is worth putting yourself out there to be a catalyst for change, hope and inspiration in one person’s life.

So if you have a fear of what’s holding you back, I want you to pause and ask yourself where that fear is coming from. Is it that others won’t like it? That they won’t accept it? That they won’t agree with it? And if that is really the root cause, and you need to sit down and focus on who you were built to serve and forget everyone else.

Just focus on that one person that you were built to serve and start getting your message out to them today. Right now, don’t delay. The only thing holding you back is you. So get up, get going and start sharing your message.



AJ Vaden

AJ Vaden is the Co-founder of Brand Builders Group, international speaker, million-dollar consultant and host of the Influential Personal Brand Podcast.